Stephanie Ivy Whiteside

Posted as a comment to The Wild Hunt 22 March 2018

Wow. I am so underwhelmed by this article that I'm unsure where to begin.

1) There is a lot of information that was given to TWH that is not included, and this weighs very heavily on the words of Yeshe Rabbit and Molly Blue Dawn. I know a number of other survivors were hesitant to speak up, largely due to the conduct of the journalist assigned to this piece. The questions sent were 1) far too long for an initial email and 2) suggested bias in favor of Yeshe. I'm not shocked that many were willing to speak up.

2) I was in CAYA. I chose not to be interviewed for this because my story is one of the milder ones. But I can say that I was emotionally belittled, repeatedly urged to quit my job (I have no other means of support), and that my sexual activities were frequently discussed with me and others. I was repeatedly urged to engage in sexual activities I didn't feel comfortable with (not with coven members specifically, but in general) and rumors were spread about my behavior and motivations. While I was not explicitly forbid from having friends outside the group, the constantly increasing demands meant that most of my friendships were unsustainable. When I left, virtually all of the people who had once considered themselves my family stopped talking to me almost immediately.

3) I witnessed many other things. People being shamed for continuing associations with those who had left. Attempts to break up relationships, especially if the parter was not involved in CAYA. Encouraging people to work at Yeshe's store, putting them under her financial control. A relationship between Yeshe and an initiate (who I will not name to respect their privacy) in direct violation of CAYA's rules. The gradual erosion of the original collective ideal into an organization where Yeshe was the final voice in all things.

All this said, I consider myself one of the lucky ones.I kept my livelihood and had no relationships to be destroyed. I left CAYA at the same time as two of my closest covenmates, and had maintained 2 good friendships during my years there, so I was not completely alone.

I know that many will not believe this. But after reading this, I felt I had to speak out so that people considering studying with Yeshe will know what they can expect.



Also from Whiteside:

Twitter posts 5 April